Random Post While the Ladybug Naps

I am home today with Peyton because she is sick.  She has had a cold with fever since Saturday.  I feel so bad, she hardly ever gets sick.  Selfishly, I hate the circumstances, but I'm so glad for the quality time I've spent with her today.  We have cuddled and watched her favorite shows/movies.  And I only had to scold her twice ;)

Here is a recent picture of her...

Future model? ;)

Well September is here and I'm so glad.  The middle of September when if finally starts to cool off through my birthday (January 6) is what I like to call "My Season"...and it is my favorite.  It includes all of fall and some of winter and all the best holidays of the year.  I am obsessed with home decor for "my season" and probably have too much.  But it evens out because I don't have any for spring and summer.  I love this time of year for several reasons: autumn color of the leaves, FOOTBALL, cool and crisp weather, sweaters-scarves-and boots, harvest time, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, fall festivals, family gatherings, and the warmth and love it brings.

And speaking of September me and my fireman have an anniversary this month.  No it's not our marriage anniversary (which is March 8, and we have been married 3yrs) but our dating anniversary, September 22nd.  I cherish this one more (and wanted to be married on the day but it didn't work out).  I like it more and make a bigger deal out of it because it's a HUGE part of my life.  You see this year we will celebrate 11yrs together...that's a long time considering we are only 27.  It's your typical cliche high school, football player and cheerleader romance. (Almost makes you want to gag!)  Started dating at 16yrs old and though we have had our ups and downs as every couple does, I am thankful we got it over with before marriage and when I took those vows I knew for CERTAIN NO QUESTIONS ASKED that I would be with him the rest of my life.  We had already tested ourselves and came through.  God is on our side and see our love as a bond made by Him, lived through Him. 

Us on our Wedding Day

One of my favorite pictures of us, that I obviously played with ;)

I love my hubby so much and am so glad to be celebrating 11yrs with him. 

 A most recent picture of us, taken by The Cotton Wife at Warthan Farms Photography

Remembering Heroes

As you may know by now I am a fireman’s wife, and VERY PROUD to be one.  With the 10^th anniversary of 9/11 approaching the media is in a frenzy.  Press coverage of memorial ceremonies, interviews with survivors, remembering those lost.  All of this is great, and sad.  Great because it is putting the sacrifices of many back into the thoughts of many, hopefully reminding us not to take so much for granted.  Sad because this tragedy happened in the first place.  Though there have been some things that have just pissed me off. 

First after 9/11 everyone wanted to become a firefighter (or a police officer) and cities were flooded with applications whenever there was an opening.  The main reason, so they could feel like a hero because that is the image 9/11 portrayed (which in my opinion is so true – my husband and all firefighters are definitely my heroes and the bravest of the brave).  So much spotlight was on firefighters that the jobs were good and pay was good.  Though, a few years later everyone forgot, America went into a recession and since firefighting is a local government job the raises stopped and training was cut back.  There was just no money, and there still isn’t.  The only raises my husband has got in the last 5 years have been training related (and I know many jobs were affected by this but I am just speaking of firefighting). 

Most firefighters are also EMTs, and usually more than that, Paramedics.  A paramedic makes as many life changing decisions in the field and can administer almost as many drugs in the field as an ER doctor, yet they don’t get paid nearly as much.

It’s not about the money, firemen do their job because it’s a calling and they love what they do.  But it just feels like after the dust settled they were forgotten about, and I thought from day one us as Americans said “Never Forget”.   

This leads to the second thing about the 10^th Anniversary that pisses me off.  One of the “Fireman’s Wife” blogs I read Fire Wife Katie posted a link to her husband’s blog as he discusses the fact that the firefighters/EMTs/police officers who survived rescuing so many out of the Twin Towers were told they could not come to the memorial at Ground Zero, and how he feels.  Another one will be held for them at a later date…and why you ask?  Because there will be enough people there such as politicians and all their security detail (that they really do need because most of us want to whip them all out and start over).  What a slap in the face!  The concern is crowd control…well damnit they ARE crowd control, I think they will know how to act!  Yet they will be using all of the NYPD, and I’m sure FDNY to PROTECT those assholes who said they couldn’t come. 

So I guess to have a point of this entry:

Remember those firefighters/EMTs/police officers who ran in those Twin Towers and the Pentagon, risking their lives to save others as the buildings crumbled down around them.  Remember those on Flight 93 who gave their lives, not letting more disaster happen.  And remember the military who went to fight an endless war.

           

Introduction

So I guess for those who don't know me and may stumble across my blog I should introduce myself...

I'm Kay Holt.  First I'm a Farmer's Daughter and grew up in a little town in Southampton Va- Ivor.  Born and bread and still live here on the farm.  Me and my husband just built our home on the family farm and love the country way of living.  I grew up not knowing any better, meaning I thought the whole world was like Cedar Lawn Farms (my family farm).  It's amazing how wrapped up you can get with this way of life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

A Fireman's Wife, that's the schedule that defines our day to day (our marriage works because he is gone for 10, 24hr shifts a month, so I get some me time and we don't smother each other ;).  My husband, Jeffrey, is my hero!  He spends his work hours saving others lives and property, while he risks his own.  He has worked very hard to become the firefighter he is today and I am so proud of him!!  Just like the farm runs in my family, firefighting runs in his.  His dad is a Fire Cheif and most of his friends are either professional or volunteer.  Some ask me if I worry about him while he is on shift, and to that I can say honestly most of the time no because I know he has the best training and in a sticky situation is not going to do anything stupid.  Though, after I get asked that I spend a few shifts really thinking about it and stressing a little.  But every night I do say a prayer for him that he will be safe and come home to me when his work is done. 

Momma, that is my biggest role right now.  Jeffrey and I have a 2 year old little girl, Peyton Belle Holt.  She was born on a hot summer day August 21, 2009.  Peyton is the single most precious thing in our lives and the biggest blessing we could get.  In my opinion she looks just like me, except for a few minor things that resemble her daddy.  But she is her daddy through and through with that, center of attention/goofy personality. We learn something new every day with her and she keeps us on our toes.  She will make you laugh at all the silly things she does, but also boil with anger at the mess she can get into.  Peyton is such a loving little girl that really loves her Momma and Daddy...but no one hold a candle to her granddaddy's, Pop and PaPaw.  Her other favorite things are swinging, running and jumping, Toy Story, Super Why, Elmo, coloring and reading.  We are dealing with the tail end of the terrible 2's and starting to potty train so we don't get much of a break but we wouldn't change it for the world!  We hope to add another to our brood soon and have that child be lumped into the biggest blessing in our lives, our children.

Now on to me persoanlly.  Boy am I a pistol!  I am stubborn, head strong, opinionated and can hold a grudge.  But on the flip side I am emotional, so compasionate, big-hearted and loyal.  Half the time my husband wants to strangle me (and same goes for him haha), and the other half he can't get enough.  My family and friends mean the world to be and I will be the first one to speak up, if needed, when someone does them wrong...or shout their good news for the world to hear.  You either love me or hate me...I have learned.

"Dancing Backwards in High Heels"  That is what my day to day life feels like sometimes.  In the Kenny Chesney song he sings of the woman being everything to everyone...and that I am!  At work I'm pulled in every direction without a break and the work doesn't end when I get home to my second job.  However, like the song, I am so thankful to be able to just be me with my husband when the day is through.  Another thing I take from that title is that I LOVE to dance and LOVE high heels!!  So it's a two-fer ;)

Trying to Cope

The month of August has been a rough one for me and Jeffrey and our families.  I lost my Grandma August 1th and he, his Granddad August 25th.  Both of them were struggling with dementia and Alzheimer's, and I really believe they are in a better place now and God has welcomed them with open arms.

My Grandma Pulley, who when I was little I called my "Grandma in the White House."  Haha...when I would say it around people other than my family that didn't know any better, people would look very confused...thinking I was speaking of Mrs. Reagan in DC ;).  But I loved (and still do) my Grandma Pulley almost more than any other person on the planet.  She was/is my favorite.  I spent many days growing up with her, and my Granddaddy, while Mom helped Daddy in the fields or went to run errands.  Grandma and I always loved to play tea party, I would have some good old fashioned sun tea and gram crackers with her on an old stool that was always sitting near the fireplace.  We would always toast by saying "salute"!  Another memory I have that the story gets told alot is my Grandma always had a drawer full of candy and I loved getting to have some.  One day when I was about 3or 4 I got ahold of a large bag of M&Ms and ate the whole thing.  As I was snacking I went with Grandma out to the front porch to swing (as we loved to do) and because of all the chocolate I got sick right there on the front porch haha.  Grandma was so mad at herself for letting me get into those M&Ms.  I have so many great memories of her and my Graddaddy that it would be too long to share, but I was so blessed to have them love me so much and that I got to spend so much time with them.

Jeffrey's Granddad meant a lot to me too, even though he was not my biological grandfather he helped fill a void of having no grandfather after I lost my Granddaddy Pulley my senior year of high school (and had lost my Granddaddy Pittman when I was 5).  Graddad Holt knew my Graddaddy and grew up in Ivor together.  They went to school together and Graddad Holt was good friends with a couple of my Graddaddy's younget brothers.  Whenever we saw him, Graddad Holt was sit me down for a couple hours telling me stories of growing up in Ivor and the relationships and crazy things he did with the Pulley boys.  I cherished each story so much, and most of the time didn't want them to end. 

At the time of the lose of my Grandma Pulley, I am a wife and a mother, two things that I have not been when a loved one has passed on my side of the family.  I quickly learned that those two roles don't leave you much time to grieve, especially the mother part, because you have others that depend on you and need you to not be a blubbering mess on the couch.  So my grieving process is being drawn out, and with the recent passing of Graddad Holt my sorrow for the lose of him adds to my grief. 

Emotionally I am pretty overwhelmed right now, but do not have time to deal with it.  I really need a day to just cry.  I get a good cry in every day, whether it be in the shower, on the way to or from work, or at night before I go to sleep.  All this emotional baggage is adding to my already tiring days of 2 full time jobs (work and motherhood).  I am not looking for pitty and trying to complain, this is just how I feel about the situation.

I just miss my Grandma very much and now Granddad.  I am hoping September will bring better days for both sides of my family and we can all heal and rejoice in the memories we have.  And I thank God for the time spent with each of them, and allowing them to live such long and fulfilled lives.