Saturday, March 31, 2012

Our Troubles, really aren't so bad...

It's been over a year of real TTC for our second child.  I've always said I wanted to have 2 kids and have them before I was 30.  So last year when Peyton was about a 1.5 we started trying for our second.  It has not happened yet. 

I went for my yearly last week and while there I wanted to ask these questions of what was going on.  However, I had my own suspicions. 

This is new for us, it taking so long to conceive because it only took 4 months to get pregnant with Peyton (and at the time we thought that was forever, stupid of us huh?).  This time I've been following my ovulation with tests and just counting the days in the cycle.  Nothing has worked thus far. 

I went in to the midwife with questions.  And told her what my suspicions were.  One, I'm underweight.  I don't try to be, it's just natural for me.  I've always been skinny, I'm not anorexic or bulimic or count calories/watch what I eat.  My mom is the same way, we just have a high metabolism.  I can't gain weight to save my life ha!

When I got pregnant the first time I weighed almost 10lbs more than I do now.  Part, because me and the hubs went out a lot.  Consumed many adult beverages that have lots of calories (sounds great doesn't it?).  Now life is different and we don't go out on the town often.  And I'm running around behind a two year old, taking care of the home and a husband.  Life is busy.

But back to what's going on.  Being underweight (BMI right at the line of actual underweight classification) means that possibly you don't ovulate each month or at all.  Those ovulation tests may not have been a strong on the line showing up for LH surge as I'd hoped.  Though some months I could be and it just not be the right time.  Because as well as being underweight my luteal part of my cycle may be off. 

Right now I'm waiting on the call to tell me if my luteal part of my cycle is to close to the beginning or the end of my period, they took blood to test the progesterone levels.  If it is to close to starting my period, if I ovulate, a fertilized egg doesn't have time to attach to the uterine wall, meaning it gets thrown out with the wash.  My midwife thinks that is what happened in July when most likely I had a very early (around 5 weeks) miscarriage.

Yes, I had a miscarriage.

It's not something I really like to advertise or talk about but it helps knowing that I have stopped ovulating completely.  At the beginning of my next cycle I am to chart my BMT and that with what's going on with my luteal phase hoping I can get some answers soon.

At the moment I've got two things going against me with TTC number 2 but we have become ok with it not happening right now.  We are giving ourselves a couple more years of "trying" before we cut the baby making factory off.  That will make Peyton 5 and it's the most I can see my children being apart.  I'm just glad I can finally know what sorta is going on and maybe let it be.  We have been not worrying about it for awhile but this puts my mind at ease, because lets face it no one wants to feel like they are failing.

Just thought I'd share a little update and use this as a therapy session.  Thanks guys for listening!